Men Beware – Why Not To Date Single Mums

I grew up knowing the challenges of a dating single mum – as the daughter of one I am certain it is not the simplest thing to do. In most nuclear families, women ( and men ) can satisfy their children, their workload, their interests and their sex lives without having to do much hunting or face needless rejections.

Flash forward twenty or so years, and it seems no less complex for single working mums ( and let’s face it, we are all working mums whether we have a paid job or not ). The advent of internet dating, sexting, tinder, grinder, bumble, eharmony and speed dating have not made the pool any less murky or simpler to navigate.

Spoilt for choice, some men tend to discount the single mother – she is less available, takes less shit, expects more honesty and vulnerability and creativity and does not love lightly, if at all. She puts her kids first, herself second and, if you are lucky, you third.

And you will love her for it. Or admire her for it. Or just get off on it. That will be fine. Single mums are squeezing their needs in between those of the whole cast of their family – so do not be surprised if she wants you just for sex, or friendship, or something of a combination of the two.

I want to get in at the get go – a simple request for the men who do take on single mothers. Please do not underestimate her. She is most likely a superwoman holding onto her sanity amongst the dish loads, the washerloads, the motherloads of emotional meltdowns and the school administration and play dates and keeping her children grounded. She wants to find someone who can show her children a mother who is cared for by someone other than them. She is most likely genuine in her affection and admiration for you – or she would not waste her time and stretched energy. She is not a gold digger. Of course she will appreciate gifts but more than stuff, she will want your concentrated time. If you do spoil her, do it with something that shows you have been watching what she needs or lacks or puts second as her child wants something more.

I spoke to and surveyed all sorts of women for this and am sure some of it will resonate with you. If not, let me know and I can always add more spice! Speaking of spice, here is the comprehensive list of why single mums make the best pick of the bunch and, contrary to popular mythology, are not low hanging fruit just aching to be man handled or itching to lick your… anything.

Before you decide whether to date single mums, here is a comprehensive report on what you might be missing out on.
If you are a Dad yourself, you may notice that women without children do not understand you or that you can’t really talk with them about your kids. Maybe you like this. If you don’t, a single mum will always see the sense, pain and passion that it takes to understand and raise your kids. Plus she will never envy your ex.
They are loving and nurturing and apply a lot of passion and sensuality to sex. They don’t want it perfect. They don’t mind it messy. They will put in and think about how to keep it interesting. They most likely will not mess around on you either. Hard enough for her to keep up with you, let alone another.
They understand that sex is important – but that things come up and they will make it worth waiting for.
They are not hypercritical or unrealistic, perfection is not what they are looking for, or wanting
They are not always available or hanging on your every text – they won’t commit to an unplanned weekend away to the Bahamas as they can’t – this can make them an attractive forbidden fruit type of pleasure
They might bore you with their strength, independence, lack of game playing and their decisiveness in knowing what they want. They don’t tolerate rubbish, so if you are into this, then steer well clear
Single Mums have expectations. They want quality sex and are willing to put in to make it spicy and satisfying. They know this requires honesty and they give it as well as receive it. And not just honesty!
Maybe you like surprises. These women don’t. They do not muck around with birth control. They do not muck around with your time. It might annoy you – the seeming lack of spontaneity. The sense that she does not need you and will not tolerate you wasting her precious time.
Surely all of the above is enough to convince you to be judicious and sensible in your dating dealings with any single mothers who come along. If you are tempted by the prospect and in order to balance this piece and play devil’s advocate, here are some of the things that a single mum might have for you, if you are that way inclined. These ladies can be very diplomatic, enthusiastic, moment grabbers and stabbers, and they love wholeheartedly and in a kind and devoted way without expecting the world of you. Be terribly aware – if you do date one to prove to yourself why you should not be with one, single mums make the most of every moment. They have so few spare ones and are used to infusing fun into the most mundane of moments for their family, so it may bleed into their time with you. You know, that could be terribly frilly – kind of like forcing you to feel young at heart.

Well forewarned is forearmed. If one of these women manages to capture your interest, you might need some tips to steer it off course and save yourself from the single mum spin cycle.

Know everything about her and ask all sorts of redundant questions
Be fluffy and don’t be honest – she does not need it, all day is raw honesty and dirty dunnies
Do not pay for much – she is used to stretching her budget and you don’t want her to get used to relying on yours
Get all anxious about her kids and any indication they need a father figure
Do not create opportunities that allow her to be seen – she knows what it is like to be invisible an missing in action in all the muck of they day, don’t rob that from her
Trust is going to go in waves – keep her on her toes, and don’t go keeping it simple or easy
Once you’re in, you’re in – this must be myth spun by these black widow single mums
Do not give her what she needs, find what you need and ask her for it. She has so many needs to fill, she must be a pro at it
You won’t get invited home, so just push and press her on it
Her kids are the axis around which she spins and vice versa – do not take too much interest in them. You do not wanting her thinking you are in it for the long term or that you are going to hang around once the party is over
Be disgruntled about her relationship with her ex. You can’t trust him. Or her
Keep her on her toes – if you need to pull out or cancel, do it. She can deal with the disappointment and, if she can’t, tough luck. There must be more of them out there desperate for a single, kid hating dude like you – especially if you are not completely divorced or disenchanted with your last partner yourself
Create high expectations around her body. She needs the motivation after all the damage that bearing, carrying and breastfeeding kids has done to it. You do not need to improve yours – have as many beers and pizzas as you need me to have a perfect body or to apologize for the body I have
In case you are literal like a lot of men are, I might need to point out the above is sardonic. If you are a woman reading, I trust you recognised the sarcasm. However, we all know that matters of the heart are not joking matters. Whoever you end up with and for however long, there is a lot to be said for common courtesy and respect and taking your time to think about what you want and what you have to offer as much as looking for what is there for your taking. It’s not just something you take, it’s given. Rhianna and Mikky Ekko had it right!

I have also spoken to single men who have explored the world of dating single mums, some who were sorely disappointed in their experiences with singles who were not mothers. All women are unique and not all single mums or single women are the same. You should take your time getting to know your prospects and all women appreciate your honesty when you do so. Maybe you are just out for no holds barred sex – maybe she is too! Or maybe you are a helpful companion who does not mind offering practical assistance – she possibly has a few odd jobs that will take her three times as long as you to do – pitching in is a perfect aphrodisiac! Gestures go a long way, but if you are like most men you possibly also like to offer gifts as a provider or patron of sorts.

Nobody hates flowers but let’s face it – after filling the house with fragrance for a week, they shrivel up and die. A single mum is no doubt juggling her budget and going without. Use your powers of observation – has her phone screen become so cracked from being mishandled or dropped by her children? Could you invest a little more and buy her a new phone? Does not have to be the newest or fanciest one but just think of the exposure you will gain. How many times a day do you think a woman takes out her phone and looks at it? Chances are that is how many times she will be thinking of you, and fondly!

How can you contribute to her day? It might be something simple, easy done for you and really straightforward – but to her, it might mean a lot. I still am not sure how but I spent four hours locked out of my house today trying to work out how to get it unlocked in time for the kids who were out on playdates. If I had a lovely helpful and loving gentleman who had my interest at the moment he might have been around and able to offer some assistance and humour in my slight distress, I would have been grateful and probably more enamoured with him as a result.

So if you are unconvinced or already in the pool with a single mum, I trust you are enjoying your time with some headstrong, feisty, fiery single woman; here are some of my tips for keeping her happy
Give practically
Be pragmatic
Be useful and helpful – she really is working hard and kids are a really big emotional rollercoaster!
Apply patience and empathy
Use you noodle
Love her love of her children
Never underestimate her powers or her charms
Put her first
Respect her intelligence and her ability to make her own decisions – but be a loving soundboard too.
Now, whatever you do, keep all this to yourself. You don’t want there being all sorts of big headed single mums staggering around and playing it cool or getting lucky. That would be tragic. Terrible. Leave them be, man. Or take a chance and consider them amongst their single counterparts. If you do, remember how much they have to offer and equally how much you have to give. There is no better way to a single mum’s heart than by paying her attention and using your powers of observation to seek out things she needs. It is not about big spending or grandiose gestures – it is just about being present and aware.

By doing so, you show the woman what an eligible man you are and you recognise what a special woman she is. Isn’t that why we are dating and sharing our time and souls with each other? She wants to be seen as the woman she is – by you. Show her you see her in your touch. Listen to what she has to say. Show her kids how you feel about her. Be the quality time she craves and don’t bamboozle her with bullshit. Get to know her movements and consider her in your plans – big and small – letting her know this will mean a lot to her and will show her your level of commitment.

Strong, Reciprocal, Intense, Amorous, Fun, Relaxed. The possibilities for you and the relationship are endless. Your single Mum may just be the one who brings the very best out of you!

Serving or Selling? What is your purpose?

Serving or Selling? What is your purpose?

What is the difference between serving and selling?
Do you think there’s any?

If you think there is, you are RIGHT! There is a huge difference between the two, although both serving and selling makes a very good business sense today.

Social Media Platforms and all other online tools nowadays gave the customers a voice. A voice wherein they can say what they want more out of the products or service that you are giving. They want to know if you are legit, effective, and trustworthy. Above all that, they want a good dialogue, good talk and a presentation before they move on to the next phase.

Gone are the days where hard selling was effective. The time has come for all businesses to understand that SERVING makes a good business now more than hard-core SELLING.

When you serve, you actually offer them the value of the product or the service that you are giving and what’s in it for them. When they understand the true value of the service, they become a repeated client. Trust is built.

On the other hand, hard selling is being aggressive and pushy to your clients. You might be able to get the sale but then it might not be the outcome that you wanted for sure since the result is short term. Clients did not understand the real deal of the service and are unhappy so they just drop it off.

When you SERVE, you OFFER VALUE. Do they have questions about your service? Do they want to know more about it? You offer them value and give them what they truly deserve.

When you SERVE, you LISTEN. Listening has been always taken down with hard-core selling. When you listen, you establish relationship. It’s not just selling but it’s a business relationship where both of you understands what each other is talking about.

When you SERVE, you SOLVE PUZZLES. You are not lucky everyday where people would like to have your service all the time. Business have pain points and that’s understandable. This is where you need to solve these kinds of puzzles. You have to focus on the pain points of the business, have your checklist, understand their situationsm and find a solution.

When you SERVE, you UNDERSTAND. Everything is not always about your business but theirs as well. You have to know at which point you can help them for you to be able to understand what else you can offer. Ask questions, probe more, and understand. We need to understand what they need for us to be able to offer the best service that we can.

When you SERVE, you NEVER STOP THE COMMUNICATION. Hard-Core selling is just simply selling. You grab the opportunity, sell, and then move on to the next target. Serving is different. When you serve, you never forget about your client. You follow-up, ask for some questions, ask if they need more. It’s somehow similar to a world class customer service. It’s not just about upselling but about caring.

Most importantly, SERVING will lead you to SALES. It’s a greater one as it’s going to be a repeat business and word of mouth where your referrals will also increase.

By reading all of these, what do you think you need to do in the next 24 hours?

Are you successful?

Are you successful?

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been thinking about how I was able to cope up with life.

Being a mother is truly a gift that is unimaginable to any woman.

It’s hard, yes, living alone without any other family than m
y two beautiful kids here in Australia.

It’s difficult indeed to be working, taking care of the kids, taking care of the household chores, thinking about what you are making for breakfast, for lunch, or for dinner every single day.

When you keep your kids busy without resorting to too many screens usually includes some level of mess.
Busy Kids = Happy Kids = Mama can work uninterrupted for a while, but it also means more clean up time.

When it’s already past 10 in the evening and your eyelids are starting to droop as you try to work out your business and try to broaden your network, and your son and daughter calls from their bedroom and wants you to lay beside them.

When your heart lurches a bit when you feel the guilt that comes along with working double-time to make sure they have a good future.

When things get rough but all you have is yourself.

I’m here for you busy mama!

I’ve been there and I’ve done that.

I was too busy working and working and it seemed like to matter how I try I just couldn’t get things my way.

That’s okay. That’s normal.

Fast-forward 5 years, and I’ve been a successful Personal and Professional Development Coach and at the same time I was able to manage my business really well and become the CEO of EyebrowExperts.

If you’re struggling to set your priorities in your personal life and or with your business, grab one of my free 1hour coaching session so we can chat!

Together, we will set your priorities, sort through your stuff and make sure that you will be in the right direction.

I’m going to support you on how to get things done to reach your goal and to become successful in no time. I got your back!

 

 

Do You Have A Vision?

Do you have a vision? Have you set a Vision for what you really truly want?

Some people see the things that they desire, and some people see the things that prevents them from having the thing that they ought to.

YOU CAN DO IT THE WAY YOU WANT TO.

You can break the rules but remember that you can’t get in the way of someone else’s in getting what they want. There should be a balance: you can take credit when you also take accountability for your actions.

Don’t be scared to fail or to be wrong. If you are going to fail at something, don’t fail at it because someone put you in that kind of situation.

You FAIL because of your OWN ACTIONS
You FAIL because of your OWN CHOICES
You FAIL because of YOU
And this allows you to make the CORRECTONS, to make it RIGHT.

Failure is great as it allows to know what is right, how it works and it teaches us so many lessons on what we can and can’t do.

We need to learn to have a Vision that is STRONG and COMPELLING, that it gives the strength to PULL us.

Enough reasons to keep us from going and get through anything to achieve it.
We don’t let fear take over if we have enough reasons to push through tough times.
We Make the Things Happen for OURSELVES, Take the LEAP! LEARN- LAUGH – LOVE 🙏❤️SB

Do you have Courage?

Do you have courage?

Let me tell you this, it takes courage to be successful and prosper

It takes courage to go out there and reach your dreams.

It’s far easier not to be victorious. Struggles will always be present.

If you do not want to make a difference, be the ordinary.

Trying to Fit in to feel like you belong that you start to
– Dress Like them
– Act Like them
– Walk Like them
– Go where they Go
– Think how they think
– And Do what they do

Once you change your uniqueness and be just like everybody else, you lose yourself.

It takes COURAGE to be DIFFERENT

Do you have the COURAGE?
– To FAIL for Success
– To STAND and Believe that Everything is POSSIBLE
– To PUSH yourself harder Every Single Day!
– To be let your VOICE be HEARD

It Takes Courage to be Exceptional!

Let’s do this, We can start the CHANGE.

LEARN-LAUGH-LOVE

How do you feel about your Body?

How do you feel about your Body?

To tell you honestly it took me years to learn how to Truly LOVE and ACCEPT my Body the way it is.

Yes, I’m almost 40 now and I finally start loving and embracing this body to the fullest.

When I was a teenager, I could always feel and see millions of flaws. I was skinny in my teens and now when I look back, I would say what the hell was wrong with me?

Why were I picking and looking for something imperfect, WHY?

Youth is already perfect and glamorous and just beautiful and young.

Why do we set standards of being FLAWLESS. Without blemish, stretch marks and dolly kind of a look. For so many of us, perfection is the ultimate dream for our states of being. But, in reality, perfect is never perfect and striving for perfection can turn from admirable to harmful.

I’ve seen lots of naked bodies in my salon for 17 years of my experience. Some beautiful women were complaining about their bodies. They think that they are ugly and not good enough, when I looked at the them, I would say “Geez you are gorgeous!”
check your glasses , girl 🥴
In my younger days, People made fun of me for being skinny and underweight, I was slower than other kids and I was weird( not skinny anymore but my weirdness is still with me 🤣😩😲😁) . My mums’ friends thought I was wiser beyond my years by giving them profound advises about their lives, boyfriends and what they should be doing in life and how and why( still doing it now as paid and unpaid job 😁🤣)

They used to say that “you may be tiny, but you’ve got the talent”.

What about larger curvy women? They have something they are good at, they don’t have to be smaller to be better! Because your talents and personality are what makes you beautiful. I have a Great Girl Friend and she has a curvy big body. I could never imagine her being skinny because her incredible soul and “bigger then life personality” perfectly matches her incredible curvy big body. She’s Slaying it! If she ever decide to loose weight with my help or without .. I only will help if it’s health reason .. otherwise I will make gluten free pancakes for her every day🤣🤣😁

The Media basically control people’s minds, especially teenagers. They make everyone think that we have to be skinny and full of plastic to be beautiful, handsome, etc.

Media can affect kids’ body images greatly. The pictures in magazines of super skinner beautiful models in popular young female magazines can affect them greatly and may cause to have a high chance for developing an eating disorder. Yesterday, my daughter was telling me that she watched Living Barbie on her IPAD who is very skinny and thin with 90 plastic surgeries in her past, and have very tiny waist she was asking, “Mommy why don’t you have such tiny waist?” and I gently replied, “I like the way I am. I like my waist”. So, let’s talk to our kids and also show them we mothers love our bodies the way it is, lets promote healthy lifestyle. Not just for ourselves but also to be the best examples for our daughters and sons.

It is fabulous to have a clean, handsome or beautiful appearance. Some people know how to attain that in a correct and healthy way. That is done through loving yourself for who we are, for our own body type, personality, hair color, eye color, skinny or not skinny waist etc. It should be coming from within, the things that make you YOU.

Let start and be open to love our BODIES, because it’s like a precious suit that we can’t remove and we’re stuck for the rest of our life. Let’s nourish, nurture our bodies and putting importance to it. Our Body is one incredible life form, just like a car for example, if you fill good high-quality petrol then you’ll know that it’s going to pay off because it’s kind of working in a good fill.
Let’s eat more vegetables and proteins😊❤️
Let’s come together and celebrate ALL body types, it may be skinny – curvy and everything in between. Indeed, our body is a beautiful creation that one must learn to love, appreciate and accept our forms. Our bodies are magical let’s start loving them for real. Our body embodies who we are, BE PROUD. Share your Body Here and post! Be brave, Be Bold and Be the Voice

LEARN-LAUGH-LOVE SB