Men Beware – Why Not To Date Single Mums

I grew up knowing the challenges of a dating single mum – as the daughter of one I am certain it is not the simplest thing to do. In most nuclear families, women ( and men ) can satisfy their children, their workload, their interests and their sex lives without having to do much hunting or face needless rejections.

Flash forward twenty or so years, and it seems no less complex for single working mums ( and let’s face it, we are all working mums whether we have a paid job or not ). The advent of internet dating, sexting, tinder, grinder, bumble, eharmony and speed dating have not made the pool any less murky or simpler to navigate.

Spoilt for choice, some men tend to discount the single mother – she is less available, takes less shit, expects more honesty and vulnerability and creativity and does not love lightly, if at all. She puts her kids first, herself second and, if you are lucky, you third.

And you will love her for it. Or admire her for it. Or just get off on it. That will be fine. Single mums are squeezing their needs in between those of the whole cast of their family – so do not be surprised if she wants you just for sex, or friendship, or something of a combination of the two.

I want to get in at the get go – a simple request for the men who do take on single mothers. Please do not underestimate her. She is most likely a superwoman holding onto her sanity amongst the dish loads, the washerloads, the motherloads of emotional meltdowns and the school administration and play dates and keeping her children grounded. She wants to find someone who can show her children a mother who is cared for by someone other than them. She is most likely genuine in her affection and admiration for you – or she would not waste her time and stretched energy. She is not a gold digger. Of course she will appreciate gifts but more than stuff, she will want your concentrated time. If you do spoil her, do it with something that shows you have been watching what she needs or lacks or puts second as her child wants something more.

I spoke to and surveyed all sorts of women for this and am sure some of it will resonate with you. If not, let me know and I can always add more spice! Speaking of spice, here is the comprehensive list of why single mums make the best pick of the bunch and, contrary to popular mythology, are not low hanging fruit just aching to be man handled or itching to lick your… anything.

Before you decide whether to date single mums, here is a comprehensive report on what you might be missing out on.
If you are a Dad yourself, you may notice that women without children do not understand you or that you can’t really talk with them about your kids. Maybe you like this. If you don’t, a single mum will always see the sense, pain and passion that it takes to understand and raise your kids. Plus she will never envy your ex.
They are loving and nurturing and apply a lot of passion and sensuality to sex. They don’t want it perfect. They don’t mind it messy. They will put in and think about how to keep it interesting. They most likely will not mess around on you either. Hard enough for her to keep up with you, let alone another.
They understand that sex is important – but that things come up and they will make it worth waiting for.
They are not hypercritical or unrealistic, perfection is not what they are looking for, or wanting
They are not always available or hanging on your every text – they won’t commit to an unplanned weekend away to the Bahamas as they can’t – this can make them an attractive forbidden fruit type of pleasure
They might bore you with their strength, independence, lack of game playing and their decisiveness in knowing what they want. They don’t tolerate rubbish, so if you are into this, then steer well clear
Single Mums have expectations. They want quality sex and are willing to put in to make it spicy and satisfying. They know this requires honesty and they give it as well as receive it. And not just honesty!
Maybe you like surprises. These women don’t. They do not muck around with birth control. They do not muck around with your time. It might annoy you – the seeming lack of spontaneity. The sense that she does not need you and will not tolerate you wasting her precious time.
Surely all of the above is enough to convince you to be judicious and sensible in your dating dealings with any single mothers who come along. If you are tempted by the prospect and in order to balance this piece and play devil’s advocate, here are some of the things that a single mum might have for you, if you are that way inclined. These ladies can be very diplomatic, enthusiastic, moment grabbers and stabbers, and they love wholeheartedly and in a kind and devoted way without expecting the world of you. Be terribly aware – if you do date one to prove to yourself why you should not be with one, single mums make the most of every moment. They have so few spare ones and are used to infusing fun into the most mundane of moments for their family, so it may bleed into their time with you. You know, that could be terribly frilly – kind of like forcing you to feel young at heart.

Well forewarned is forearmed. If one of these women manages to capture your interest, you might need some tips to steer it off course and save yourself from the single mum spin cycle.

Know everything about her and ask all sorts of redundant questions
Be fluffy and don’t be honest – she does not need it, all day is raw honesty and dirty dunnies
Do not pay for much – she is used to stretching her budget and you don’t want her to get used to relying on yours
Get all anxious about her kids and any indication they need a father figure
Do not create opportunities that allow her to be seen – she knows what it is like to be invisible an missing in action in all the muck of they day, don’t rob that from her
Trust is going to go in waves – keep her on her toes, and don’t go keeping it simple or easy
Once you’re in, you’re in – this must be myth spun by these black widow single mums
Do not give her what she needs, find what you need and ask her for it. She has so many needs to fill, she must be a pro at it
You won’t get invited home, so just push and press her on it
Her kids are the axis around which she spins and vice versa – do not take too much interest in them. You do not wanting her thinking you are in it for the long term or that you are going to hang around once the party is over
Be disgruntled about her relationship with her ex. You can’t trust him. Or her
Keep her on her toes – if you need to pull out or cancel, do it. She can deal with the disappointment and, if she can’t, tough luck. There must be more of them out there desperate for a single, kid hating dude like you – especially if you are not completely divorced or disenchanted with your last partner yourself
Create high expectations around her body. She needs the motivation after all the damage that bearing, carrying and breastfeeding kids has done to it. You do not need to improve yours – have as many beers and pizzas as you need me to have a perfect body or to apologize for the body I have
In case you are literal like a lot of men are, I might need to point out the above is sardonic. If you are a woman reading, I trust you recognised the sarcasm. However, we all know that matters of the heart are not joking matters. Whoever you end up with and for however long, there is a lot to be said for common courtesy and respect and taking your time to think about what you want and what you have to offer as much as looking for what is there for your taking. It’s not just something you take, it’s given. Rhianna and Mikky Ekko had it right!

I have also spoken to single men who have explored the world of dating single mums, some who were sorely disappointed in their experiences with singles who were not mothers. All women are unique and not all single mums or single women are the same. You should take your time getting to know your prospects and all women appreciate your honesty when you do so. Maybe you are just out for no holds barred sex – maybe she is too! Or maybe you are a helpful companion who does not mind offering practical assistance – she possibly has a few odd jobs that will take her three times as long as you to do – pitching in is a perfect aphrodisiac! Gestures go a long way, but if you are like most men you possibly also like to offer gifts as a provider or patron of sorts.

Nobody hates flowers but let’s face it – after filling the house with fragrance for a week, they shrivel up and die. A single mum is no doubt juggling her budget and going without. Use your powers of observation – has her phone screen become so cracked from being mishandled or dropped by her children? Could you invest a little more and buy her a new phone? Does not have to be the newest or fanciest one but just think of the exposure you will gain. How many times a day do you think a woman takes out her phone and looks at it? Chances are that is how many times she will be thinking of you, and fondly!

How can you contribute to her day? It might be something simple, easy done for you and really straightforward – but to her, it might mean a lot. I still am not sure how but I spent four hours locked out of my house today trying to work out how to get it unlocked in time for the kids who were out on playdates. If I had a lovely helpful and loving gentleman who had my interest at the moment he might have been around and able to offer some assistance and humour in my slight distress, I would have been grateful and probably more enamoured with him as a result.

So if you are unconvinced or already in the pool with a single mum, I trust you are enjoying your time with some headstrong, feisty, fiery single woman; here are some of my tips for keeping her happy
Give practically
Be pragmatic
Be useful and helpful – she really is working hard and kids are a really big emotional rollercoaster!
Apply patience and empathy
Use you noodle
Love her love of her children
Never underestimate her powers or her charms
Put her first
Respect her intelligence and her ability to make her own decisions – but be a loving soundboard too.
Now, whatever you do, keep all this to yourself. You don’t want there being all sorts of big headed single mums staggering around and playing it cool or getting lucky. That would be tragic. Terrible. Leave them be, man. Or take a chance and consider them amongst their single counterparts. If you do, remember how much they have to offer and equally how much you have to give. There is no better way to a single mum’s heart than by paying her attention and using your powers of observation to seek out things she needs. It is not about big spending or grandiose gestures – it is just about being present and aware.

By doing so, you show the woman what an eligible man you are and you recognise what a special woman she is. Isn’t that why we are dating and sharing our time and souls with each other? She wants to be seen as the woman she is – by you. Show her you see her in your touch. Listen to what she has to say. Show her kids how you feel about her. Be the quality time she craves and don’t bamboozle her with bullshit. Get to know her movements and consider her in your plans – big and small – letting her know this will mean a lot to her and will show her your level of commitment.

Strong, Reciprocal, Intense, Amorous, Fun, Relaxed. The possibilities for you and the relationship are endless. Your single Mum may just be the one who brings the very best out of you!

Serving or Selling? What is your purpose?

Serving or Selling? What is your purpose?

What is the difference between serving and selling?
Do you think there’s any?

If you think there is, you are RIGHT! There is a huge difference between the two, although both serving and selling makes a very good business sense today.

Social Media Platforms and all other online tools nowadays gave the customers a voice. A voice wherein they can say what they want more out of the products or service that you are giving. They want to know if you are legit, effective, and trustworthy. Above all that, they want a good dialogue, good talk and a presentation before they move on to the next phase.

Gone are the days where hard selling was effective. The time has come for all businesses to understand that SERVING makes a good business now more than hard-core SELLING.

When you serve, you actually offer them the value of the product or the service that you are giving and what’s in it for them. When they understand the true value of the service, they become a repeated client. Trust is built.

On the other hand, hard selling is being aggressive and pushy to your clients. You might be able to get the sale but then it might not be the outcome that you wanted for sure since the result is short term. Clients did not understand the real deal of the service and are unhappy so they just drop it off.

When you SERVE, you OFFER VALUE. Do they have questions about your service? Do they want to know more about it? You offer them value and give them what they truly deserve.

When you SERVE, you LISTEN. Listening has been always taken down with hard-core selling. When you listen, you establish relationship. It’s not just selling but it’s a business relationship where both of you understands what each other is talking about.

When you SERVE, you SOLVE PUZZLES. You are not lucky everyday where people would like to have your service all the time. Business have pain points and that’s understandable. This is where you need to solve these kinds of puzzles. You have to focus on the pain points of the business, have your checklist, understand their situationsm and find a solution.

When you SERVE, you UNDERSTAND. Everything is not always about your business but theirs as well. You have to know at which point you can help them for you to be able to understand what else you can offer. Ask questions, probe more, and understand. We need to understand what they need for us to be able to offer the best service that we can.

When you SERVE, you NEVER STOP THE COMMUNICATION. Hard-Core selling is just simply selling. You grab the opportunity, sell, and then move on to the next target. Serving is different. When you serve, you never forget about your client. You follow-up, ask for some questions, ask if they need more. It’s somehow similar to a world class customer service. It’s not just about upselling but about caring.

Most importantly, SERVING will lead you to SALES. It’s a greater one as it’s going to be a repeat business and word of mouth where your referrals will also increase.

By reading all of these, what do you think you need to do in the next 24 hours?

I am grateful for everything!

I am grateful for everything!

Have you ever thought about expressing your gratitude towards people?

Have you ever tried showing it but seems like it’s being taken for granted? or

You completely have no idea to show it at all?

How we can show it more in our lives, and how eventually it turns to be beneficial for us.

Gratitude is an emotion of feeling grateful or thankful for what you have, and because you are putting energy on the good side, it grows positively as well.

They say “What you reap is what you sow”.

It’s easy to be ungrateful in life. We complain we compare, we think how unlucky we are, and we focus on the things that we lack rather than on the things that we have.

Let me take you back to the time when I was once ungrateful in life.

14 years ago, I started my business EyebrowExperts. Since it was still new at that time, I couldn’t get enough Clients to come in. Some are coming into my clinic but I always think they’re not enough. I always thought of closing down my business because I felt like it’s not working for me. I am being ungrateful. Why? Because I always feel that it isn’t enough. I was unhappy even though some Clients are coming. I focused on thinking why few are interested in my business rather than getting a solution on how I can get things better.

Then, I started to think about how I can make it the other way around. I started by expressing my gratitude to all the Clients who are coming in. I started to thank them and ask for some feedback. I started to make them feel the quality of their presence. I started to think of the present while thinking of the future of the business.

At last, things became better. Little by little. Clients spread the word on how satisfied they are as a customer. People started to become interested. Clients come and go but when we express our gratitude towards them, it’s no longer need why they keep on coming back. It’s already the loyalty and the service. <3

Do you enjoy having a massage?

Do you enjoy having a massage?

Perfect if you are having…

Depression.
Insecurity.
Post-Partums.

These are just a few but there’s a lot of things happening to our body, mind, and soul right after giving birth to our babies.

Have you ever thought about these things?
Have you ever thought that your body will change?
Have you ever experienced having extreme mood swings?
Have you ever thought of killing people you love? ( not literally of course)

or

Why no one ever told you about this?
Why no one ever warned me?

Yes us! Mothers and future moms!

And what about the first time getting all these physical changes?
Feeling fat, being fat, and looking at your body and can’t even recognize yourself.
Having stretch marks, spider veins, varicose veins, stretched saggy tits.
Having depressions, post-partums, and insecurities.

Many of us would think that being in a situation like this is just easy to cope up with.
Well, I’m telling you, it isn’t.

Each individual differs from each other. Others might finish feeling uneasy in a month, in a week, but there are others who feel like this even after a year or two or so…

After not recognizing my own body and having a feeling that everyone is against me and even the loved ones. The feeling of isolation and constant anxious feeling about the kids, the house, the chores clean, what to cook, the dog walks, and the replies to clients. Well, don’t even mention about forgetting the last time I ate. Questioning myself how come I’m not losing any weight and still 30+ kg overweight. when I am doing everything I can to control my diet. And yes I can understand that some couples on the border of separation as I think it’s brave and unknown for a woman to go to motherhood world and of course for a man, it’s kind of a gamble as well. I’m not even talking about sex and money side of things.

So after my motherhood struggle and blessing at the same time. Me being an adventurous person, loving things, and experimenting. I heard a word .. Yoni .. and it drew me towards it so I decided to google and found very interesting articles and stories about this kind of massage. Let me tell you that after long research I discovered one lovely person who I met at Bondi beach spa salon. Yoni massage is one of the most unique and gratifying experience to have. How I wish that this could be talked about naturally on a day to day basis though. For someone who is open about sexuality and sexual health, I have that view about a lot of topics.

I want it to be specific, honest, and first-hand so let me take you to my own experience. Let me preface this with the fact that I am a mother and a woman who is open about my sexuality, who loves my body and who wants to experiment and explore new things. It took me a long time to start loving my body and I’m ecstatic about my container “ body”.

I’m a personal and professional Coach, Psych K, NLP & Hypnosis Trainer who loves
to challenge myself and go out of my comfort zone. The natural curiosity into this kind of practice just comes with the job;
never say no to an alternate therapy because it might just work.

After my pregnancy, I wanted to reconnect with my body, or maybe see it in a new light that I had never been before.
I wanted to experience what it feels like because I’m a very curious person like a child.
Second, I wanted to experience what life has to offer and how I find it interesting to see the experience of another woman.

We often go to a place to get massage all the time and I think Yoni massage is not an exception. Some of us may feel a little embarrassed about our Yoni’s, others wouldn’t even want to look what our Yoni’s look like but it’s actually incredible because every shape of a woman is kind of the same and kind of different at the same tone and it’s just so fascinating!

Trust me! I was a Beauty Therapist in my past life and I’ve developed breakthrough 7 minutes Brazilian waxing and I have waxed and trained a lot of students. I’ve seen quite a lot of Yonis for so many years so believe me when I say that every Yoni is beautiful and that there’s nothing to feel embarrassed or weird about it.

Yoni is actually the Sanskrit word for sacred cave or vagina. The ideology behind the practice, similar to massage of
any other part of the body, is to release tension, treat the muscles, and rejuvenate. It does need to be said that the tantric practices truly honor the yoni as one of the most intimate and super powerful parts of the human body, and the
process of the massage must follow guidelines that turn the massage into something closer to a hallowed ritual.
The massage is heavily focused and guided towards healing and holding space for any emotions that arise during the appointment, so these can be fully explored.

You sit for a while and speak about yourself. This is another rare experience for us women. You should speak of what you think
may be blocking your sexuality, what you feel you need to heal from and where, and how you think your Yoni is, in every manner. Even the talk in itself will be liberating.

Yoni Massage is not a sexual massage. Yoni massage is a very sacred massage from one woman to another giving her to feel the intention that the yoni massage is primarily: healing, awakening, and transformation. Clear boundaries and
intentions are laid out prior to the massage so there is no confusion or misdirection by either the giver or the receiver.
This means through communication, boundaries, and sensation.

The massage can bring on the full spectrum of emotion – sadness might raise its drooping head, only to be replaced with wracking orgasmic energy. Arms fall numb at some points, then an all-encompassing sense of peace. Your chakra will be filled with energy and your spiritual body thrum with rejuvenated power. Yoni massage is Tantric, Enlightening, and Reassuring. Yoni massage will definitely encourage you to embrace your sexuality.

How amazing this could be?
I explored, experiment, and tried it.
It was a really rare experience. It’s life-changing!
Mine was changed, in a good way!

How about you? Do you want to give it a try?

How much can you express your gratitude?

How much can you express your gratitude?

Have you ever thought about expressing your gratitude towards people?

Have you ever tried showing it but seems like it’s being taken for granted? or

You completely have no idea to show it at all?

How we can show it more in our lives, and how eventually it turns to be beneficial for us.

Gratitude is an emotion of feeling grateful or thankful for what you have, and because you are putting energy on the good side, it grows positively as well.

They say “What you reap is what you sow”.

It’s easy to be ungrateful in life. We complain we compare, we think how unlucky we are, and we focus on the things that we lack rather than on the things that we have.

Let me take you back to the time when I was once ungrateful in life.

14 years ago, I started my business EyebrowExperts. Since it was still new at that time, I couldn’t get enough Clients to come in. Some are coming into my clinic but I always think they’re not enough. I always thought of closing down my business because I felt like it’s not working for me. I am being ungrateful. Why? Because I always feel that it isn’t enough. I was unhappy even though some Clients are coming. I focused on thinking why few are interested in my business rather than getting a solution on how I can get things better.

Then, I started to think about how I can make it the other way around. I started by expressing my gratitude to all the Clients who are coming in. I started to thank them and ask for some feedback. I started to make them feel the quality of their presence. I started to think of the present while thinking of the future of the business.

At last, things became better. Little by little. Clients spread the word on how satisfied they are as a customer. People started to become interested. Clients come and go but when we express our gratitude towards them, it’s no longer need why they keep on coming back. It’s already the loyalty and the service. <3